The Secret Power of Unlearning

We spend much of our lives collecting—knowledge, skills, habits, titles, responsibilities. It feels like progress. Yet somewhere along the way, many of us realize we’re carrying too much. Some of what we’ve learned doesn’t fit anymore. Some of it actually keeps us small.

That’s where unlearning comes in.

Unlearning isn’t about erasing the past or discrediting what got us here. It’s about loosening our grip on the outdated “rules” and assumptions we’ve absorbed so we can move freely into who we’re becoming.

The Hawk and the Owl

Think of the hawk: sharp, focused, scanning for opportunity. And the owl: turning its head nearly all the way around, catching perspectives others miss.

Both birds thrive not because they cling to old patterns, but because they adapt. They see differently. They unlearn limits we humans often impose on ourselves.

In professional reinvention, it’s often the same. The shift isn’t about learning more. It’s about dropping what no longer serves: the “shoulds,” the self-doubt, the assumption that louder is better or that success must look one certain way.

Why Unlearning Matters Now

“Unlearning” has become a hot word in leadership and reinvention circles—and for good reason. The world is shifting faster than ever. Strategies that worked five years ago may not work tomorrow. The people who thrive aren’t the ones who hoard the most tools; they’re the ones nimble enough to shed what’s outdated.

Midlife especially brings this lesson into focus. You’ve gathered decades of experience, but the next chapter often calls for a lighter, more agile you.

Three Practices for Unlearning

1. Name a “Should.” Write down one rule you’ve been carrying—something like “I should always be available,” or “I should already have it all figured out.” Ask: Is this true, or is it just inherited thinking?

2. Flip the Lens. Like the owl, swivel your perspective. How else might you see this moment? What story would you tell if you weren’t bound by that old belief?

3. Take One Micro-Shed. Unlearning doesn’t mean torching everything. It can be as simple as choosing not to respond to an email at 10 p.m. or letting go of an outdated role you’ve been performing out of habit.

The Challenge

This week, identify one belief, habit, or “truth” you can unlearn. Notice how your energy shifts once you set it down.

Because the real secret power of unlearning?
It’s not just about what you release.
It’s about the space you create—for wisdom, creativity, and the next version of you.

👉 Question for readers: What’s one thing you’ve unlearned that set you free?